Jindal To Return University Degrees

NEWS FLASH: Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has reportedly endorsed Texas Governor Rick Perry's bid for the GOP nomination for U.S. president. There is speculation that Jindal's endorsement is a bid to position himself as viable Vice-Presidential candidate.

Over the past few years, Jindal's shifting positions on issues of importance to social conservatives, including statements that doubt evolution, man-made global warming and participatory democracy have become concerning to the various educational institutions that have awarded degrees to Jindal. Brown University, where Jindal majored in public policy and biology and University of Oxford, where he received a degree in public policy with an emphasis on health care issues have both gone on record as disapproving the use of their degrees to enhance Jindal's political career given his transformation into a lunatic TeaPublican and Perry disciple.

In order to stem this growing controversy, Governor Jindal has announced he is returning his degrees to Brown and Oxford. "These are just scraps of paper issued by secular heathen institutions that want to bring down these great United States," Jindal said. "Now that I am hooked up with Rick Perry, who needs intelligence and education. We just make things up. That's a lot easier than actually studying and thinking. If I had known this before, I wouldn't have wasted my time at those elitist degree mills."

Baton Rouge Magnet High School has yet to comment.